Can we be real for a few minutes? Real as women? Real as mothers?
Just in the minutes I have been trying to type this, I have picked up dirty clothes, started laundry because I have no clean underwear, talked to the plumber because the toilet overflowed yesterday…. Again. The kids are finally eating breakfast almost three hours after we woke up, it’s the blueberries they left out on the table from dinner last night. Let’s not talk about the mounds and baskets of clean laundry on that same table that make it hard for them to find a place to sit and eat.
The plumber just left. We talked about how the septic is full again, but that the landlord isn’t going to fix it, so just take quick showers so that the toilets don’t back up. So easy to do with four people in the house.
At least I kinda made the beds for today, so I consider things a win so far.
I’ve been up for 3 hours. I now have a bra on and brushed my teeth, which is actually a miracle at this point in the day and only because the plumber was coming over, otherwise….
I did almost get 8 hours of sleep last night. Almost. I went to bed around midnight, read for about 30 minutes, fell asleep for less than an hour only to have my 6 year old scream at me from the other room because he had to pee. Then I couldn’t go back to sleep, I laid there with all the thoughts of the things I need to get done and finally picked up my book again. Eventually the 3 yr old crawled in bed too and somewhere around 2a I was asleep again.
My kids are messy. Not like there is a little smudge of dirt on your face messy, but covered in think black as tar mud before breakfast messy. I seriously hadn’t even had coffee yet. They take every bit of clothing out of their drawers and throw them around the floor, all the train tracks come out of the bins and honestly, I don’t have the daily fight in me to make them pick it up. I just don’t. So once a week I threaten with a garbage bag to get it cleaned, this works for about 7 minutes before it looks exactly the same again. I just want to give up on cleaning and many days I do.
Oh wait, I had to pause typing again because I promised I would help my kid plant a plant he had to buy at Lowes yesterday and I “thought” that would be a great idea…. I hate it when I do that. When I say let’s do this awesome thing, but then actually have to do it.
This is our lives.
Some of us go to work, rushing to get kids out, rushing to get home, cook dinner, and barely see our kids. Some are with our kids every moment, of every day, 365 days a year. Rarely having an adult conversation and when we do, we talk about our kids.
What about those of us trying to run a business and make it a successful business, while parenting full time at home and then decided to homeschool. We are F*ing nuts. Luckily at this house, we are still at the Kindergarten phase, so I consider playing in the dirt a great learning experience. And there is LOTS of playing in the dirt.
This is real life.
Oh, one day a year that I might get a card and a thank you (and to be honest, I hate cards, they are a waste of money and then I feel obligated to keep this silly piece of paper). I know my husband and kids appreciate me, they tell me all the time. I don’t need the one day for them to tell me that. One day that everyone says, relax its mother’s day. Well no one told laundry and dishes that it’s Mother’s Day, the floors don’t know it, and the kids asking to be fed don’t know it.
Let’s just say I do get one full complete day off… That makes it worse knowing how life could be without the whining scream of my kids telling me they are hungry or that they need to poop. It makes going back to reality even harder. Back to the “Moooooommmmmm, I neeeeeed heeeeellllllp”. Stab me in the eye with a fork.
As a mom, I don’t want to be celebrated one day a year! I want everyone to chip and do their part every day (and I am pretty lucky because around this house they really do). I don’t want a gift out of obligation for a silly day, I want a gift just because they saw something and thought of me (like those weeds and rocks my kids bring me). To be really honest, I don’t’ want a gift at all, I want to go to the store alone and pick out my own damn gift. I don’t want my family to feel pressure that one day of the year or guilt over not doing enough, because guilt sucks, trust me I know.
Let’s make every day Mother’s Day or Father’s Day or whatever day. Let’s tell people we appreciate them all the time, pull our fair weight around the house and appreciate others in the house for doing the same thing. Let’s take “days off” on a regular basis, like once a week (both mom and dad or the novel idea of mom and dad together), or even an hour every day. Let’s forgive each other for not getting the things done we should have and helping out when we know our partner really needs it. Let’s support each other’s mental health as much as our physical health. Let’s try to not lay blame and guilt at our partners (or kids) feet.
Trust me, I struggle with all those things that I think we should do. I am not the best wife or mother! Put yourself first, put your husband first, put your kids first. UGH! How about no one goes first? We are all in this together, so let’s walk hand and hand and just get sh*t done.
And if you love these type holidays, swoon over hand made cards from your kids and your heart melts when your husband brings home roses! That's awesome! I am just not that person...
Oh wait, hold that thought, my daughter needs to pee and my son wants nails and a hammer…
Are you into real life like me?? Want to make sure those real moments are saved for all eternity so you can embarrass your kids when they grow up? Check out my top 3 ways to preserve your memories! Cause we all know we need those naked in the yard pictures to show at our kids graduation party!