There are lots of words that can describe mom life.
The list goes on and on.
This life can be full of highs and lows all in the same moment. The way we perceive our day in and day out can be totally different than the story we tell to the outside world. The way our lives look and the way our lives feel can cover both ends of the spectrum at the same time. We often put on a show for the world. We might have joke about how hard our day was, how we need another bottle of wine (beer for me) or vat of coffee, but there is a truth behind those jokes. We work long hard hours either as a stay at home parent or a working parent. We stay up late to catch those few moments of me time with the house quiet. We worry over things out of our control, things in the future and things we could change. We are mentally and physically exhausted. Our brains never shut off and Dad's we know you are in these shoes too. Our whole house often feels like it's in a continual state of turmoil.
Why do we put on a brave face for the outside world, always saying things are fine? Why are our lives so full of stress and worry that we forget to actually enjoy it? Why, as a society, have we allowed our lives to become this way? Why do we feel like the world puts a lot of pressure on us or why do we put that pressure on ourselves? Has life always been this hard? Since we no longer have to struggle to kill our next meal have we turned that struggle into something else? Is it just the way our brains are wired through evolution?
(If you have any answers for this, please feel free to fill me in!)
This was a day last week.
I stared at the pile of laundry that has been begging to be folded for a while. I found dog poop still on the porch from yesterday that had not magically cleaned itself up. I gazed at the small amount dishes thinking how lucky only until I remembered that I am not sure anyone actually ate dinner last night.
I found my daughter sitting in the corner of a toy and stuff filled room reading a book. I think oh cool, she spending time by herself reading! Awesome, until I step in the first of many puddles.
"Hey Fin, why is the floor so wet? Did you pee?"
"Did water get poured all over?"
"yes, I think so"
I reach down to find her soaking wet. She had peed herself again, she had peed all over the room that is so full of stuff I can't even walk through it, I don't even know where to start cleaning up the mess......
I put her in the tub and I just walked away. I walked outside and sat down.
I screamed and cried.
I don't want to be a mom anymore, I don't want to be a wife anymore, I don't want to live this life anymore.
My 6 year old came to console me. Then he went and washed his little sister, got her dressed and gave me a hug.
This was a sh*ty day...
But the next day will be better... right?!
Isn't that what we always say, tomorrow I won't lose my cool and yell at the kids. Tomorrow I will wake up early and get that run in. Tomorrow I will stop eating so much crap and drink more water.
We all have days that don't live up to the ideal parent in our head. We all tell ourselves tomorrow will be better (and sometimes it is). We all show the outside world a different view than how we feel.
We (both moms and dads) are in this together. This is real life, let's try to accept that the days are not perfect, that we will yell at our kids and lose our sh*t, that our kids will still love us if we make them go to bed at 6pm to keep from killing them.
Mom Life according to great groups of moms in a local facebook group:
Servitude, Unconditional, Rollercoaster, Tireless, Exhausted, Rewarding, Selfless, Emotional, Blessing, Challenging, Fearless, Love, Amazing, Raw, Chaos, Tiredddddddddddddddddddddd, Unconditional, Blessing, Surprising, Awesome, Love, Vulnerability, Stressful, Strength, Hard, Happiness, Miraculous, Sacrifice, Journey, Wine , exhaustion, Priceless, Exhausting, Dedication, Blessing, Transforming, Unbelievable, Trying, Entertaining
Mom Life: just life
Want me to take real life photographs or film of your life? Call me (or just email me, cause no one wants to talk on the phone these days)